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May 28, 2008
May 21, 2008
May 16, 2008
I present the Mother of the Year Award to the woman I saw screaming obscenities at her young son yesterday. I was coming out of McDonalds, (I know, it's my fault for even being at McDonalds, but they were giving away free sandwiches) and I see this little boy make a dash for a parked car and the mother behind him unleashes a stream of foul language I reserve for only the most frustrating traffic situations. "You f*** stupid ass! Don't run in the street! You want to get hit by a car you f*** idiot!", and so on.
Bravo, ma'am. I can already picture what your son will be like in junior high, and the first two years of high school before he drops out to go work at the very same McDonalds where you started this process. Then he'll get fired for coming to work drunk. I gave her a level two stink-eye and left.
By the way, McDonalds was giving away a free chicken sandwich with purchase of a drink, and they charged me for the sandwich! I had to go back in and get my money back. The dopey manager said, "Did you ask for it?" What, did I ask them not to charge me for the sandwich they are giving away FREE? Do I have to specify the price of everything on the menu? "Excuse me, I'll have a Dr. Pepper for $1.20, not three hundred dollars like you charged me last time."
Sorry, I'm irritable today.
May 10, 2008
May is National Bike Month, so it's time to get out and ride. I belong to an awesome bike gang here in Tempe that goes on night rides (it's too hot to ride during the day). We all ride cruisers, and we're not interested in going fast. We just patrol our territory and usually end up at a restaurant.
Below is the bike I got recently on Craigslist. It's a sweet ride.
I suggest your start a bike gang in your hometown. Just stay off our turf.
May 9, 2008
I don't know if I've mentioned this already, but you should check out this website: Garfield Minus Garfield They take the comic strip Garfield and, as the title suggests, remove Garfield. This leaves poor Jon Arbuckle to fend for himself. Without a sarcastic cat to talk to, the strip becomes the story of a depressed, lonely, possibly psychotic man. And it's hilarious.
May 8, 2008
Hey kids, I'm going to be teaching a two-day cartooning class this summer at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe. There will be one for teenagers, and the other is for... tweens. I'm not sure what a tween is, but I guess if you are one you probably know it. The class should be fun, so go to the Changing Hands website and sign up.
Yesterday I was in the grocery store buying some ice cream, and I was walking down an isle that was blocked by a slow-moving elderly gentleman pushing a cart. I tried to pass on the left and on the right, but was unsuccessful. Suddenly...Apparently he sensed my presence and set off a tactical countermeasure. It worked. I immediately turned and fled.
You've won this round, old man.
May 7, 2008
It has been proven many times over that I have some sort of incredible ability to predict the future with my comic. I now suspect that every day my comic mirrors some event going on somewhere in the world. Sometimes it even makes the news. It has gotten me in trouble before, but let's not dwell on the past.
Guess what, it happened again. Here is the comic that ran on May 5th: And it just so happens that this headline appears in New Jersey on the same day: Body Floats in N.J. Canal, Gnawed by Turtles
Come on! Why me? Why was I given this terrible gift of precognition? Unlike last time, I didn't get any angry emails about this one. Whew!
Does everyone realize that I don't draw the comics on the same day they are printed?
May 4, 2008
I told you Iron Man was going to be cool! By the way, don't forget to stick around for an extra scene after the credits.
Of course the big story this year is The Dark Knight. The new trailer shows us a little more of the Harvey Dent character: