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F Minus is the daily comic strip by Tony Carrillo
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Jun 13, 2008

My Favorite Fight Scenes

And now, because everyone loves a list, here are my favorite movie fight scenes. They are just my current favorites, so I don't want any arguments. However, I welcome additions to the list. These are not in any particular order. The links will take you to a Youtube clip of each scene, if available. Warning! The clips may not be suitable for all ages. Viewer discretion is advised.

-The Mariachi vs. World Class Turds -DesperadoThere are some great gun battles in this movie, but it's Steve Buscemi's funny narration that makes this scene one of my favorites. That, and the fact that the power of the Mariachi's guns actually lift the bad guys up into the air.

-King Kong vs. Dinosaurs -King Kong (2005)I usually find CGI battles incredibly boring, but there was nothing boring about watching a giant ape open a can of Kong on three ugly Tyrannosaurs. Whether he's smashing a head with a boulder or snapping open a jaw, Kong really brings the pain in this brutal masterpiece. Kong! It's fun to say.

-Jackie Chan vs. Gang of Thugs -Rumble in the BronxIt's too hard to pick my favorite Jackie Chan fight scene, but this one is one of the most memorable. Jackie proves he's the master of using whatever is available to hurt you (ottoman, shopping cart, refrigerator) and hilarious not-supposed-to-be-funny lines. ("You are all garbage!")

-Smeagol vs. Deagol -The Lord of the Rings, Return of the KingThere is something very creepy about watching best buddies Smeagol and Deagol instantly transform into enemies when the ring enters the picture. The look on Smeagol's face as Deagol's heartbeat fades can give you nightmares.

-Neo and Trinity vs. SWAT Team -The MatrixAnytime you get a new TV or surround-sound system, this is the scene you should test it with. The first time I saw this, I had the same reaction as that first unfortunate security guard.

-Pee Wee vs. Francis -Pee Wee's Big Adventure"Go ahead and scream your head off! We're miles from where anyone can hear you!" Hilarious.

-Yu Shu Lien vs. Jen Yu -Crouching Tiger Hidden DragonThese girls will kill you till you die from it. The fun thing about this scene is watching Michelle Yeoh go through several different Kung Fu weapons trying to find a match for the Green Dragon. I know, I'm a nerd.

-Maximus vs. Executioners -GladiatorSure, you could probably kill a couple of bad guys with your hands tied. But if you can do it while making snarky comments, ("The frost, sometimes it makes the blade stick.") well sir... you are a true badass.

-The Protector vs. The Human Skeletal System -The ProtectorHere's a tip: Don't stab Tony Jaa. It really makes him angry. The premise of the movie is pretty bizarre (All this violence over a baby elephant?) but this one scene makes it all worth it. I've never heard the bone-break sound effect put to such good use. I'm wincing just thinking about it.

-The Bride vs. Copperhead
-Kill Bill
There are so many great fights in Kill Bill (The Bride vs. The Crazy 88, Elle, Gogo). I love this fight because of the suburban setting. I was kind of hoping that little girl was going to bust out with some Kung Fu of her own... maybe in the next volume, eh?

-Naked Nikolai vs. Clothed Thugs -Eastern PromisesYou can find clips of this scene online, but I'm not going to post them. This is by far the most brutal movie on the list, and this scene in particular is very difficult to watch. In it, a very naked Viggo Mortensen fights two guys with knives. Something about bare skin and sharp blades is leg-crossingly uncomfortable. This was one of the few times I've ever heard an entire movie audience groan in horror. Awesome!

-Narrator vs. Himself -Fight ClubThis surprising scene makes me laugh every time I see it, despite how disturbing and painful it is. Especially when Edward Norton is sitting against the wall, punching himself in the face. We've all been there, Ed.

King Arthur vs. The Black Knight
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Not even quote-crazy Python nerds could ruin this scene for me. I remember very clearly the first time I saw this. I was about ten. "What is this wonderful new type of comedy?" I wondered. Changed my life.

So there you have it; my list. Whaddaya think? Your list is better? You wanna fight about it?

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Jun 9, 2008

Start your day right

Wake up with Tony and Gail, your morning news team.

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Jun 7, 2008

Habañero Cheeseburger

I'm a big fan of spicy foods, and last night I had the Habañero Cheeseburger at Carlsbad Tavern in Scottsdale, rated the hottest burger in Arizona. It has Habañero peppers ground up in the beef. Habañeros are some of the hottest peppers in existence. It started out okay. It had a good flavor, and the beef was great. It wasn't even that hot at first. I felt confident that I could handle it.Halfway through the burger my eyes were watering and there was cartoon steam coming out of my ears. The water wasn't helping much anymore, and I could no longer taste anything. As I started on the second half, the sensation turned from heat to searing pain. Each bite was worse than the last as the bright orange flecks of hell-pepper did their worst.I finally struggled through the last bite of burger and fourth glass of water and immediately asked for another pitcher. My tongue sizzled long after the burger was gone. I vowed to never again put my body through such an ordeal.
In conclusion, I highly recommend the Habañero Cheeseburger at Carlesbad Tavern.
This guy knows what I'm talking about:

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