Spread The F Word

Comics Carousel Vote

2012-01-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

Voting is open from now until January 23 at the Chicago Tribune. F Minus vs. Broom-hilda.

The site says results are not scientific. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it has something to do with Broom-hilda's witchcraft.

Headline News

2011-11-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

At first I was surprised and impressed by the headline of yesterday's newspaper. Then everything went back to normal.

Love F Minus Style

2011-08-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I got an email from a guy named Kevin:

"Hello Tony,

The Butter Up:
Everyday my girlfriend, Cierra, and I read aloud the comics in the Sacramento Bee. We've progressed to the point where each character has a specific voice. Specific enough that we know which strip the other is reading without being told. And loud enough that our neighbors probably hate us. Each day she says to me, "F Minus is my favorite one!" She loves your humor and she loves how short each strip is. She might even stop reading the paper if they nixed your strip. (Unconfirmed. Study pending)

The Point:
I'm going to ask her to marry me. I was wondering if it would be possible to have one strip in one days paper be the proposal. Something simple like your strips already are and something funny. Before you ask, no, I don't have any idea what I want. This is really just me wondering if it's possible. If you decide to respond to this email then all I'm really asking is this: Would you be willing? And what would be the price?

The End:
Thank you very much for the daily entertainment. It's always a pleasure heading down the line of comics and seeing F Minus lined up for the next reading.

Sincerely, Kevin"

So I wrote back:

"OK Kevin, I'm in. But if we're going to do this, we're going to do it my way.

I have always wanted to say that.
First we need to have a serious talk before I can give my blessing. Marriage is a big step. I need to know you two are the real deal before I put the F Minus stamp of approval on the marriage certificate. (Yes, I had a stamp made at Staples) Are you going to stick it out in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for Baby Blues or For Better or For Worse? I'm going to need a synopsis of your relationship. Keep it succinct, I don't have all day.

By the way, are you sure she'll say yes? If not, that could be embarrassing. For both of us. The comic proposal is not entirely unlike the Jumbo-tron proposal at a sporting event, most of which start with a "yes" in front of the crowd, but end with a "No, how could you do this to me?" eight minutes later out by the Dippin' Dots stand. I just want to be sure she's going to dig this plan.
Let's assume you two are good for each other and you're at least 70% sure of a "yes" answer. I have only two more stipulations. The comic has to be funny (or at least make sense) to anyone uninvolved in the proposal. That means only you, me, Cierra, and possibly your paperboy should realize something is up. I don't want to knowingly publish a comic that will confuse my readers, even though I unintentionally confuse most of them every day. I didn't even use the comic to propose to my girlfriend. But that was because I wasn't sure if she read F Minus anymore.
Besides, I don't like it when comics break character to deliver a message, even if it's a good one. That's why when you see other comic strips making a coordinated effort to get you to care about the environment or something, F Minus never participates. It's not that I don't care about the environment, Kevin. No one cares about the environment more than me. No one.

Anyhoo, stipulation two (or four, or whatever) is that after all is said and done, you allow me to publish your story and our correspondence on the F Minus blog. Up until now I have used my blog mainly to share the hate mail I receive, and I think my readers have earned a positive story for once, don't you?
If this seems acceptable to you, then we can start brainstorming some ideas. Right now I have to go to bed because my wife is trying to sleep and I can tell my typing is annoying her. (sigh) Wives! Am I right?

Best,
Tony Carrillo"

Kevin wrote back and filled me in on their relationship:

"We met two weeks ago on World of Warcraft. We haven't officially met, but I know she's the one! OK, that was a lie, I'm sorry. Let me start with saying this: I love her. I have never loved anyone more. I have stopped watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Firefly for her. That's hard to do. Anyway, we've known each other for about five years. We met at work. I was into her, she...was not. We reconnected after a 3 year hiatus about a year ago and have been dating ever since. She's 23 and I'm 26. We aren't religious but we are waiting to get married before living together. Statistics and all that. We did the long-ish distance (3 hours away) relationship for 5 months and came out unbruised. We've never had a fight (yet), her family loves me and mine her, and she stuck around after seeing a three foot long Lego Star Destroyer reverently placed on my dresser.
That is also why I know she's in this for the long haul. If that doesn't send a girl running then nothing will. She is cheesy, tacky, intelligent and beautiful. And now, thanks to a little help from me, a raging nerd. She will say yes, of that I am 100% certain. Otherwise, all the engagement ring link's she's been sending me are very, very cruel.
I am completely on board with making the strip funny and not in the least bit confusing for those not in the loop. We can discuss how to make it obvious to her while leaving the unaware reader, well, unaware.
As for putting our story in your blog, I would be offended if you didn't! Well, not offended. Perhaps mildly put out for an hour or so. But yes, of course you may."

I was sold.

"Kevin, if there's one thing I support, it's nerd love. I'm in a nerdy relationship myself. Let's make this happen."

Kevin and I wrote back and forth a few times, hammering out the details. I sent him the comic ahead of time for approval:

He gave it the thumbs up, so I sent it in. When the big day came I waited to hear how it went. That night he contacted me:
"She said yes, of course! She also loved the comic, laughed out loud and everything!"

Success!

Congratulations to the happy couple! I wish them a long and happy life together, built on a solid foundation of offbeat single-panel cartoons. Check out the story about them today in the Sacramento Bee.

Hate Mail! Art Attack

2011-06-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

"Tony Currillo, I have long thought that “F Minus” was too high a grade to assign to your one-panel comic drawings. But it occurred to me just today that the ideas may be great (e.g. husband wants erotica-themed funeral) but the impact is greatly diminished by the almost juvenile art work. Alas, there’s probably nothing you can do about that now – but it’s a shame to have those good concepts go to waste."
-(Jackwagon)

Dear Jack, How's this for juvenile art?Sincerely, -Tony Carrillo

I might be overusing this image, but it's useful in so many situations.

F Minus on GoComics.com

2011-06-01T12:25:00.001-07:00

Be sure to check out the new home of daily F Minus comics at GoComics.com. If you have the old Comics.com site bookmarked, it will redirect to the new page, saving you valuable seconds. Enjoy!

Mell's Piano

2011-05-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

I recently got to visit the home of legendary cartoonist Mell Lazarus (Momma, Miss Peach) who basically invented cartooning, I think. I'm not sure because I kept getting distracted from his stories by this piano covered in cartoons!

It has doodles and signatures from hundreds of cartoonists, including Charles Schultz and Garry Trudeau. When Mell wasn't looking I grabbed a pen.

He caught me.

I drew a small self portrait between Dave Berg (Mad magazine) and Tom Gammill (The Doozies). Tom did a video about the piano you really should see.

Mell let me finish, then explained that this was why he only keeps dry-erase markers in this room.

Thank you to Mell and Sally for a great night.

(These last photos are from Tom Richmond's Blog)

Bed Bunnies

2011-04-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

Today's comic was inspired by a real-live event. I was staying in the second-worst hotel I've ever seen (the first being a hotel in Mexico where I stayed as an international hostage in a commercial fishing dispute; true story) and I was laying in the bed, which I noticed was kind of lumpy. I got up to investigate, and between the mattress and the box-spring I found this: A few scenarios ran through my mind as to how a plastic, light-up bunny ornament got under my mattress. None of them made me feel any better about the thoroughness of the hotel maids.
I've always wondered, how do bed bugs know to set up shop in a bed? I think an insect that can differentiate beds from other types of furniture deserves more research.

Everybody likes dune buggies!

2011-03-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

I got my caricature done today by the great Tom Richmond!

Stench Blossoms: Naming My Comic

2011-03-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I posted a link to my Frequently Asked Questions on the F Minus Facebook page, and asked if anyone had questions to add. There were several good ones, but one question inspired this post. Casey asked: "Did you have any other ideas for names of your comic besides F-?"
I hadn't thought about it in years, but I distinctly remembered sitting down and brainstorming names for my comic when I decided to apply to my college newspaper. I went to my closet and started going through the stacks of old sketchbooks. Sure enough, I found it:
I know it's hard to read. It was done with a light pencil and has faded over the years.

Naming your random panel comic requires a lot of consideration. There are no main characters to name it after, so it has to somehow convey the attitude of the comic. Three of the ideas are nods to some of my comedy heroes.

New Phonebooks- From a great scene in one of my favorite movies of all time, The Jerk.

Hello Tetanus!- Funny line from a Seinfeld episode.

Tremendous Sex Appeal- Somewhat obscure line from a Woody Allen movie.

I'm glad I didn't go with any of these. They had the right feel, but I think going with something original was the right idea. Plus, no nervous newspaper editor would buy Tremendous Sex Appeal. But remember, there are no bad ideas when brainstorming.

Slightly Imperfect- This was the front-runner for a while. It's from a sticker on a discount T-shirt I bought. My girlfriend made fun of me for it, so I had the sticker made into a button I would wear occasionally. Even though it had a good story behind it, I had some problems with it. My main issue was that it sounded a little TOO "offbeat screwball comic", if that makes any sense. I wanted something a little more distinctive and memorable, and even I had trouble remembering Slightly Imperfect without the button.

F Minus- F Minus won because I felt it best conveyed the attitude of the comic. Kind of pessimistic with a sarcastic edge, and silly at the same time. I thought the concept of somehow doing worse than failing was funny. Plus, it was succinct and memorable. I got a big red pen and wrote it on a piece of paper and scanned it. I've been using that as a logo ever since. It's right there at the top of this blog.

Incidentally, I later found out about a Southern California punk band called F-Minus, but they broke up in 2005. The way to tell us apart is the band uses a hyphen and I don't. Also, they have a female vocalist and I don't. One of their albums is called Wake Up Screaming, which I think would also make a good name for a comic.

In an episode of The Simpsons, Principal Skinner exclaims, "What the F Minus?" I doubt he was referring to my comic or the band, but it's still cool.

Speaking of The Simpsons:
Lisa: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Bart: "Not if you call them Stench Blossoms."

Wanted

2011-02-28T09:51:00.000-08:00

I make a special cameo appearance in F Minus once in a while, usually as a criminal of some kind.
I do the same thing for the local news.

My Disappointing Ellen Evening

2011-02-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

Since I was a kid, I had an innate ability to spot the difference between authority and fake authority. When a police officer tells me I need to stand behind the yellow line, I stand behind the yellow line. When a guy wearing a yellow polo shirt and an I.D. card on a lanyard says stand behind the yellow line, the trouble begins. The following is an example of how this tendency plays out in my life, and why I get on TV so much.

Today I was on Twitter, thinking about how annoying Twitter is, when someone retweeted a tweet (ugh) from the Ellen TV show. Apparently representatives from her show were going to be at ASU giving away HUGE prizes.
I needed something that started with an A, S, and U. I grabbed an Afro, stuck it on my Skeleton, opened an Umbrella, and dashed out the door. One of the perks of working at home is the freedom to drop everything at a moment's notice and rush off to try to win some fabulous prizes. I'll have to stay up late to finish, but it's still nice to have the option.
When I got there, I saw a giant truck loaded with new cars, with Ellen's face plastered on the side. My '98 Corolla has served me well, and refuses to break down, but it would be fun to put the F Minus license plate on a new car. Unfortunately, a huge crowd had already gathered, including several people with umbrellas. I felt a little disappointed, until I noticed a news crew setting up to interview a guy in a shark suit. I decided that if I was going to win a car, I needed to get interviewed and get some attention.

This is where ignoring fake authority comes in handy. I strolled over to where the news crew was setting up. A security guy (this one was in a purple polo) said, "Hey, you need to stand over there behind the rope."

"I'm going to be interviewed." I said confidently. He scratched his head, looked around, and waved me on.

Confidence will get you everywhere kids. If you act like you know what you're doing, most people will think you do. That's how I managed to sneak into the VIP section at a celebrity football game without a pass, and sit in a section with a bunch of Playboy Bunnies and Wee-Man.
So I stood next to the guy in the shark costume. When the anchor turned around, I was standing there smiling. Within minutes I was on live TV. I don't remember what I said.

After the interview, the security guard tried to usher me away. I acted confused and shuffled around the staging area. This works because technically, no one has the specific job of making sure Tony Carrillo isn't in the staging area.

I ended up in the front row using the "confused dork" method. Things were looking up. The Ellen show was going to be recording live, and some of her minions were choosing who was going to be featured on the show.

As the title of this blog suggests, I wasn't picked. They chose the nearly naked college students over me and my skeleton. I know. Shocking. But as it turns out, the prize was only $5000. Sure, that's still a great prize, but after they paraded those new cars in front of us, it was kind of a let-down. No one got a car. What's the deal, Ellen? I spent the rest of the night irritating the security guards by not standing on the curb when they asked me to stand on the curb.

Even though I didn't win, it was still a fun evening. You might see me in the background of Ellen tomorrow, or being interviewed on Channel 12 news tonight at ten if you're in AZ. Remember kids, don't respect the polo.

Hate Mail! A History of Nonsense

2011-02-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

On Super Bowl Sunday, while everyone else was enjoying the company of friends, family, and barbecue, someone was crafting an email.

But before I get to that, I have to take you back four years. In January of 2007, I received an email from a gentleman (we'll call him Norman) pointing out a discrepancy in this comic: Norman said:
"If the guy has 75 cents and only three coins, the only possible combination would be three quarters. Therefore, all three coins in his hand should have at least to be the same size..."

I replied:
"Are you making the assumption that this is American currency they are dealing with?"

Norman- "Are you telling me that it's not?"

Tony- "Anything's possible! Plus there could be some smaller coins hidden beneath those larger visible coins in his hand. Or they could be small stones made of some valuable mineral, with a black market value totaling 75 cents. The sad thing is that we may never know the truth...
Thanks for reading F Minus!"

Norman- "If your editor made the same observation, would you give him the same line of B.S.?"

Tony- "I dunno, they don't usually make pointless observations... but yes, I guess I would!"

Norman- "I guess a "pointless" observation is only fitting, given the equally pointless nature of your strip."

At this point, the conversation ended. I can't remember why I didn't reply again, or why I neglected to post this exchange for you to read.

It doesn't really matter, because I got a reminder on Super Bowl Sunday, 2011. This email refers to this comic from a few days earlier: "I've let a lot of your strips pass by without comment since pointing out how the coins in a character's hand, based upon relative sizes, did not conform to the aggregate amount that was supposed to be represented thereby. (Your response to this was pretty dismissive, so I'm not expecting much more in ths case.) However, Your panel of January 31st, while very funny on its face, contains yet another jarring inconguity that detracted from the intended humorous effect.
The panel plays off the fact that the word "dolly" has multiple definitions, one of which is a girl's plaything and another is a piece of hardware most typically employed by movers. The problem is that the hardware pictured in the panel isn't a "dolly," but a "hand truck."
But I don't blame you exclusively (now or previously), because I know that cartoonists also work with editors, who, in my opinion, bear the greater responsibility for ensuring some measure of accuracy or verisimiltude (where appropriate). So feel free to forward this to him or her."

I set down my potato salad and registered my reply:
"Good to hear from you again, Norman. First of all, please do not hesitate to point out any incongruity you come across in my comic. I value your input. As to the matter at hand, it's true, the hardware pictured is most commonly known as a hand truck. However, it is known by several other terms, including dolly, two wheeler, stack truck, trolley, trolley truck, sack barrow, sack truck, tea-bagger, bag barrow, dung porter, goat roller, and a "poopsie". These terms vary based on region and time period. For instance, "poopsie" is a seventeenth century term.
Clearly the character in this comic is from a region and era in which referring to this tool as a dolly is common. It is likely the daughter learned this from her father. I'm not sure where the father learned it. To be honest, I haven't developed the character enough to be certain, but I'm thinking he may have got it from his uncle.
Incidentally, I did forward your email to my editors, per your instructions, and they asked that I let you know that you misspelled "incongruity", "verisimilitude", and "this". Don't feel bad, this is what they do.
Stay vigilant, -Tony Carrillo"

This morning he wrote back:
"Clearly, you have WAY too much free time!"

No arguments there, Norman.

F-ART: The Art of F Minus

2011-01-14T15:32:00.001-08:00

Sometimes when people hear I'm a cartoonist I get the question, "Do you also do any real art?" I used to do a lot of "real art" in college, but after I graduated I focused on doing the comic and learning the harmonica.

Turns out the harmonica is really hard, so I gave it up and got back on the art train. Showing now at Gold Bar Espresso is my first art show in years. I call it F-ART: The Art of F Minus. F Minus comics re-imagined in a "real art" style.

There are four pieces showing for the next few weeks. I've been told they have already made one baby cry.

World's Best Grandpa

2010-12-28T12:30:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas my grandpa asked for a World's Worst Grandpa shirt. I think he's under the impression the character is based on him.

Here is a photo of him from last Thanksgiving:
Pick up World's Worst Grandpa stuff and other F Minus merch at the F Minus Store.

Thought That Counts

2010-12-25T21:30:00.000-08:00

My brother, Mike, displaying his favorite Christmas gift this year. Possibly his favorite of all time.

Hate Mail! This means war?

2010-12-19T22:33:00.000-08:00

F Minus is proud to be carried by Stars and Stripes, which publishes a daily newspaper for the United States Armed Forces serving overseas. I've had a great response from soldiers serving in Iraq and around the world (including an email from a soldier in Germany also named Tony Carrillo).

However, today I received a very different email. As always, the grammar and spelling is exactly as I received it.

Tony,

I really wish the Stars and Stripes newspaper would stop wasting space in the comics with your F Minus strip (exactly the rating I give your effort).

Do you really get paid for these elementry drawings and non-comic crap?

Quit wasting the worlds comic strip space.

Find something your good at.....

To be fair, I don't have any proof that this guy is one of our men in uniform. I'm sure anyone can get a hold of this paper. For all we know this guy could be living in a shack somewhere in the woods, using Stars and Stripes to make himself a paper-mâché cocoon. This theory is supported by his "elementry" grasp of the English language (I love the incorrect use of "your" in that particular sentence), but countered by the fact that he has electricity.

This email has the two standard traits of F Minus hate mail; the aforementioned poor spelling, and using the name F Minus against me. Overall, it's pretty typical of the hate mail I receive.

Nevertheless, I'm reluctant to respond in this case. Mainly because no one in this world scares me more than guys living in cocoons made of military newspapers and pee.

Click here for more F Minus Hate Mail

Super Sketching

2010-10-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of charcoal drawings lately, and today I got to spend the afternoon drawing people dressed as superheros at an open session at Mesa Community College, courtesy of the Arizona Avengers.

Above are some of my ten-minute sketches. The hand-made Iron Man costume was especially impressive, and even had the glowing eyes and chest-piece. He had some trouble with steps though... I guess the rocket boots weren't working.

Pop-Ups

2010-10-03T21:50:00.000-07:00

Now that the good people at Pop-Tarts have started printing "edible" advertisements on the frosting, I think it's time they officially changed their name to Pop-Ups. Then I can install a pop-up blocker on my toaster, to make sure only Toaster Strudel makes it through.

While we are on the subject, my method of eating Pop-Tarts is to break off and eat the unfrosted edges first, then the frosted edges, and finally the middle. It's been my MO since I was a kid. Now I eat them upside down so I don't have to read about Nascar.

F Minus Recall

2010-09-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

To those who have seen today's comic, I share an important email I received this morning:

"Tony,

Today's cartoon shows a pickup truck with a dinosaur fossil taped to the hood..

You should know, and advise your readership, that removal of artifacts from govermental and/or private land is against the law (a felony).
(Name Omitted)"

I encourage anyone who removed artifacts from governmental and/or private land as a result of reading this comic immediately turn yourself in to local authorities for prosecution. To set a proper example, I will be turning in the many skulls I have acquired as soon as Halloween is over.

I apologize for the inconvenience.

Grocery Store Adventures

2010-08-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

I need a better camera for when I go to the grocery store.
Looking for a product that will help you clear up some time in your busy schedule? Try the Banana Slicer. It will save you seconds, literally seconds, every year.

At first I thought the brand was Hustler.

Here we see the Grab-a-Bubble, a fun bubble toy for kids, hanging next to a... what is that? A bedazzled cigarette lighter? Not only that, it's been marked down to allowance-level prices.

This one's hard to read, I know. The outside of the greeting card says, "I'd like it better if you were better" and the inside says, "Way better!" A sugary sweet get-well card, right? Now imagine giving it to a perfectly healthy employee or significant other.

Priorities

2010-08-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

My friends are such nerds.

Featured Item: F Minus Logo

2010-08-10T10:05:00.001-07:00

Just in time for the back-to-school season, get the F Minus logo on an item of your choice for that teacher, disappointing student, or inattentive parent in your life. Choose from mugs, shirts, totes, and more. Bad report card? Stick it on the fridge with your F Minus magnet! Check out the F Minus Store for all options.

FAQ

2010-07-21T10:21:00.001-07:00

I took some time to answer some Frequently Asked Questions over at the new F Minus website.

Featured Item: Warning

2010-07-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

Better safe than sorry. Wear the shirt that makes sure everyone knows what you've got going on under there. I can't tell you how many awkward situations this shirt has helped me avoid. And by 'awkward situations', I mean 'jobs'.
Click on the shirt above for all Warning products, and find more at the F Minus store.

Featured Item: America Cat

2010-07-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

Finally, an image that embiggens all that is America. America Cat was almost the official symbol of our nation, and in our hearts, it still is. Click on the shirt above for all America Cat products, and find more at the F Minus store.

F Minus Gift Store

2010-07-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

The F Minus website has been updated and now includes the new and improved F Minus store, featuring new items with your favorite F Minus Pals, including the World's Worst Grandpa, Creepy Old Hobo, and more!

New Times Blog

2010-07-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

Check out this blog from the New Times called Jackalope Ranch. I was interviewed as part of their 100 creatives series. I'm number 72. That might be the highest I've ever been on any list.

I've been clowned.

2010-06-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

Please notify authorities if you have any information.

I do have one suspect...

You make the call

2010-06-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

I recently got a complaint email from someone (i.e. old person) suggesting that my lettering is too small and difficult to read. I have received several comments on my lettering over the years, both positive and negative. So I'll ask you: Is the F Minus lettering too small or are old people's eyes too old?

I gotta get back to the gym...

2010-06-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

Created by Oatmeal

Um... deny.

2010-06-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

Could you be... the most beautiful Fred in the world... could you be?

Well, I didn't win.

2010-05-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

But don't worry, I'm not too broken up about it. I had a great time hanging out in New York all week.
The view from the hotel in Jersey City. New Yorkers say, "The best thing about New Jersey is the view of New York." New Jerseyans say, "F#@& off!"
Hanging out with Scott Hilburn and Dave Blazek.
They spelled my name wrong on the sign. Again.
Sat next to Stephan Pastis at the unlucky table.
Tom Gammill hosted the event and gave the best Reubens show I've ever seen. Granted, this was only my second, but believe me, it was great.
This is the statue outside the hotel; a man getting stabbed in the back. I think it's the official emblem of NJ.

Reuben Awards Day 1

2010-05-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

Looking out my window at New York City across the Hudson river. I'm here for the Reuben Awards, the annual National Cartoonists Society weekend. It's my one chance to talk to other people that draw cartoons for a living, and talk excitedly about things like... pens.
Ran into Stephan Pastis as I arrived at the hotel. He pointed out a statue of a man getting stabbed in the back. New Jersey!

Happy F Minus Day!

2010-04-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

F Minus began national syndication 4 years ago today! Thank you to all my great readers, and the newspapers that have supported F Minus. So how will you celebrate F Minus Day? Email me and I will select one answer at random to receive an F Minus prize!
Happy F Minus Day!

Tony Updates His Status

2010-04-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

My column has been up and running since the start of the year. Read a new column every month in the Times Publications, a free-distribution newspaper here in Arizona. Check out the last few columns here: January February March

Also, become a fan of Tony Updates His Status on Facebook to get updates.

Egg Family Portrait

2010-04-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

Q: Today's Comic

2010-04-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

A: Of course not.

Saddest Reporter Ever

2010-03-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

I'm calling out Bill Weir of "Good Morning America" who claimed to have found the "saddest book ever written" today. Can you guess what book it was?
Now I'm questioning everything Bill Weir has ever said or done. Even that perfect tan might be fake.
Thanks to Tracy for catching this.

Saddest Book Ever

2010-03-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

I was browsing in a bookstore when I came across this downer. I couldn't stop laughing. This might be the most depressing book I have ever seen. I was going to buy it, but I thought some sad old lady might need to buy it.
But I have to wonder, is all that food for her? They should re-title it, Cooking for the Family in Your Head.

F Minus nominated for NCS award

2010-03-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

It was announced today that F Minus has been nominated for a National Cartoonists Society division award: newspaper panel. So it looks like I'm going to New Jersey in May. I've never been, but I hear great things. Did you know it's the "Garden State"?

Musical Hate

2010-03-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

This comic from back in 2006 stirred up some hate mail from band nerds around the country. Here are two great ones. I can't find my responses, but I highlighted my favorite parts in bold:

I am usually not offended easily, however your strip on 11/06 really bothered me. As music educators we must justify our music program day in and out. I must deal with teachers, parents, administration and coaches that believe music is not important . And if a child is not physically adept, put him in the marching band.

In our district- the Marching Band is considered a Fall Varsity Sport. The football team has not made finals in years. However both marching bands in our district have consistently placed in the top three in our division in the last 10 years. We are the most "winningest" team in the district and we are very proud. ( as well as our Athletic director and coaches.) The coaches in our district tell their team members that we should practice like the marching band. We work hard and quite frankly your strip sends out the wrong message to kids, to everybody and encourages the stereotype about musicians that we must fight on a daily basis.

If the stereotype about band nerds is that they are nerds, then this letter does not help his cause. But I like the next one even more...

The disgusting cartoon of Nov. 6 about the boy not throwing the football well, and the father saying "Let's go find an instrument." is one the most repugnant, demeaning, stereotypic "jock" mentality images that has been perpetuated over the eons, that I can ever recall. It is shameful to publish that ludicrous perception. The cartoon itself lacks substance, which underlines the superficiality of the ideas it purports. It is in the beer party around athletic events level of mentality. I am recommending it be replaced with something that is close to funny and with some substance. I am recommending that the Music Educators National Conference censure you in some fashion. Be ashamed.

I had to bold the last two sentences because they are so great. I never heard from the MENC, and this was several years ago. I'd probably get some sort of notice in the mail if I had been censured, but perhaps not. Maybe if I ever apply to teach music somewhere, a siren will go off and I'll be arrested.

The reason I bring this up is because I just got a letter about this comic: It was a very complimentary letter from a gentleman requesting permission to display the comic in a briefing. The letter was from a Band Officer in the Army who oversees all Army Bands in Iraq! Apparently, if you play an instrument and you are NOT a dork, you join the Army Band. Permission granted, Sir.

By the way, I played the saxophone in my high school marching band. My uniform looked very much like the one in the comic. I wish I still had that hat.

Lost in the Deseret

2010-01-27T11:10:00.000-08:00

Apparently F Minus was dropped from the Deseret News, and the backlash has been evident. An angry reader even started a Facebook group called Bring F Minus back to the Deseret News. If your paper drops or moves F Minus, let me know, write the editor, blog about it, and throw a tantrum.

However, if your local paper is carrying F Minus, write them a pleasant little note thanking them for their good judgment. Maybe even send a little treat. Everyone loves snickerdoodles.

YAllapalooza

2010-01-08T12:14:00.000-08:00

Attention young adults! Tomorrow is YAllapalooza at Changing Hands. Come by and meet a bunch of authors. I've been allowed the tentative "author" label for the day, even though my book is mostly pictures.

Hate Mail Quickie

2010-01-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Tony,
As an avid comic reader I think I have to give F minus an F minus. The jokes lack punchline set up and humor.

-Phillip Weiner

Dear Phillip,

Hehehe... Weiner...

-Tony Carrillo

Column Debut

2010-01-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

My new monthly column debuts today in the Times Publications, a free-distribution newspaper here in Arizona. Pick up a copy today! Once it goes online, I'll post a link.

Our song

2009-12-29T22:22:00.000-08:00

This might be the weirdest looking guy I've ever drawn. I'm not sure if I'll ever do a jug-player comic again, but if I do, you can bet this guy will make an appearance.

Don't eat red snow

2009-12-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

You may have seen the color version of today's comic. Here is the original:
Please disregard the color version.

Although I liked the explanation from one commenter: "The bazooka IS made with snow---stained red by the blood of that dude's enemies."

F Minus Hate Mail Menu

2009-12-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

For your convenience, I have compiled a list of links to my F Minus hate mail blogs. I will add to this list as the hate rolls in. Enjoy!

Bare bear man.

2009-12-04T11:07:00.001-08:00

I did a lot of life drawing in college. This means a group of twenty or so students would sit in a circle around a naked person and draw them for a few hours. Often, the same model would come in for every class, and we would do many drawings every session. I would end up with over a hundred drawings of the same person. Needless to say, this became tedious.
Once I had finished drawing the model, I would add various elements to the background of the drawing for my own amusement. A busy highway, a sewer system, or in this case, a bear:
Fast forward several years to today. I was browsing the internet and stumbled upon this photo:
The similarities are remarkable. Sure the man has gone gray, and managed to wrangle himself some pants, but it's clearly the same couple. They don't seem to be getting along like the used to, unfortunately.

If you haven't used Stumbleupon.com, I highly recommend it. It's the most efficient way to waste time on the internet.

Complete your shopping in 5 minutes.

2009-11-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

I'm about to save you countless hours of frustration. F Minus books are your one-stop shop for taking care of everyone on your gift list; naughty or nice! How about that hard-to-buy-for uncle? New baby? Old grandpa? It doesn't matter, the F Minus books have you covered. How about something for the boss? Circle the comic that reminds you of him/her before you wrap it.
It's also the perfect white elephant gift. In fact, you should probably buy an extra one just in case. You never know when your neighbor/babysitter/mailman/mistress is going to unexpectedly buy you something. Be prepared!
Get the latest book or the first book at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com.

Halloween

2009-11-09T22:37:00.001-08:00

This year I was the skeleton king for Halloween. No, it's not a character from something, I just made it up. Some little trick-or-treater came up to me and said, "Hello, Skeleton King!" as if we were old friends. That's what I like about kids. They don't sit there trying to figure out what movie you are from. They just see a skeleton king and accept it.
I was happy with my Jack-o-lantern this year but I forgot to take a picture before it got kind of squishy. This was my favorite decoration this year:
And here is a photo I took today:It's the only Halloween decoration still out, and I'm starting to think it might be a year-rounder.

Hate Mail! Citation Needed

2009-10-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

The following is a real email discussion between myself and a reader about the above comic. His words in red, mine in blue. His references are included and name has been omitted. Hint: To increase enjoyment, read in the voice of Kelsey Grammer:

Mr. Carillo,

I enjoy the comics as a diversion and from time to time read F Minus. Occasionally, I even enjoy it. Among those I did not enjoy was your October 20, 2009, Ultimate Frisbee attempt. Where, Mr. Carillo, is the value (entertainment, social or otherwise) in a "comic" (implying levity, comedy, etc.) strip such as that? Given the number of gun-related deaths (almost 30,000 in 2004) and injuries (almost 65,000 in

2004) and the many shootings of horrendous proportion done by children, including Paducah, KY, Springfield OR and Littleton, CO, what possible benefit could there be drawing and distributing by syndication a comic that intertwines Frisbees and guns, while expressly promoting the idea that the nexus not only is logical, but that the progression from family fun to violence is all but unavoidable?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-humor, not even a little, but in your comic, there was none. Too many people die or are injured by firearms - why promote children's games and guns as comedy? You delude only yourself if you believe that children do not read the comics, even if they are not your intended target audience. Will it be funny to you if you read on page one of a newspaper or read on your favorite news web site that children somewhere saw your Ultimate Frisbee idea and determined that it must be good fun since it was in the comics, until one of them died? Will it be funny then? You pushed the idea out - you can't simply declare that it was intended to be funny and so what if kids didn't understand; can you? I'm sorry, sir, and I mean no personal disrespect to you, but shouldn't common sense play a role in your decision making to use the public forum provided to you to entertain for that reason, rather than to join guns and fun Frisbee games? Data source: NY Times with confirming data for 2000 available at the Centers for Disease Control and othe r reliable sources.

I welcome your response, though I fully expect to receive no reply. Good day to you, and if nothing else, please think about it before you share a similarly "clever" idea that has made its way from your mind to your pen.

(Name Omitted)

Dear Sir,

After my assistant described your letter, I felt compelled to pen this reply. (Dictated but not read) As to the comic of October 20th, wherein a group of young men are involved in a "game" of Frisbee and unloading personal firearms at the airborne disc, I am appalled at the position you claim I have taken on this delicate matter; the suggestion that I would take a negligent, jovial attitude towards such a potentially dangerous action was enough to disquiet my morning breakfast of oats and meal to the point of near-unenjoyment.

I shall state it blankly, sir. You are wrong! This comic was not, as you say, "implying levity", but rather creating awareness of this dangerous activity. It has long been my opinion that our society under-appreciates the dangers of the Frisbee.

This is not the first time I have used this public platform to call attention to this issue. November 1st, 2007 was a tribute to Ultimate Frisbee enthusiast Dave Thurston, depicting him leaping from a cliff in pursuit of a Frisbee.

Of course, only personal responsibility can solve this problem. Did you know that most Frisbee accidents happen in the home? Often because a Frisbee was carelessly left about, instead of securely locked away in a Frisbee safe. This idea that owning a Frisbee makes you more safe is preposterous as well. Movies today glamorize the Frisbee with the cliche of the Frisbee-toting hero, saving the day or defending the helpless. In truth, Frisbee owners are far more likely to injure a loved one than stop a home intruder.

I hope you now see that we are on the same team in this fight, as we spread the word about Frisbee violence. You, with your letters, and I with my comic. Together we are stronger than any Frisbee.

Good day to you,

-Tony Carrillo

Good day, Tony,

Thank you for the courtesy of your response including what I am assuming (and hope to be) the new introduction of humor on your side of the fence. However, I remain unpersuaded by the "merits" of your substantive response, for what,I believe to be good reasons, and despite any unintended but consequent disquietment to your eating pattern, or any attendant indigestion that may have resulted. That you are appalled is good; we start by sharing common ground. First, so we're all seeing the same thing at the same time:

The comic shows five people, apparently representing either the complete contingent of Frisbee players assembled or part of a larger, but undisplayed, group of (all) men engaged in a common activity. Two appear to be standing still; one is drawn as running; and two are armed with handguns. Once is in a practiced, crouched ready to shoot position, and the other has discharged his weapon using a side held, "gansta" position. [1] story line reads: "Then, as it often did, Ultimate Frisbee gave way to Extreme Frisbee." Your comic strip above bears out that my description is accurate.

[1] To bust a cap in da ass ... requires more than just unloading a cartridge full of ammunition into the person who has got your goat. If movies have taught us anything about street executions, it's that swagger, poise and a bravado that screams 'I've no concern for innocent onlookers' are all important traits to be considered when blasting some sucker into oblivion. [¶] The most curious of these style points,

however, is the gun-tipped-sideways. The tipped pistol tells your foes that you not only intend to maim and/or kill them but that you intend to do it with pizzazz. The Sydney Morning Herald, on line, August 22, 2006;

Your story line is simple: Ultimate Frisbee "often" devolves from a game [2] into an invention of your mind described as "Extreme Frisbee" in which the players no longer interact by exchanging the Frisbee with the flip of a wrist, instead, discharge weapons at it, with no purpose explained or implied. Your position is advanced by the suggestion and what I consider to be an unfortunate, feeble and ineffective attempt to shift the focus of attention to what you consider to be dangers inherent in the game of Frisbee based solely on your reference to on equally unfunny and joyless creation of your mind that purports (again as comic entertainment) to show a man apparently about to fall to his death chasing a Frisbee as three helpless teammates watch in horror. [3] So an accidental death chasing a Frisbee over a cliff (even if depicting an unfortunate real life event, which appears not to be the case), somehow justifies your expansion of an accidental (and, from what I can tell, fictional) death of a cartoon player engaged in a game of Ultimate Frisbee into an unsupported conclusion that such sporting activity "often" leads to intentional, planned acts of violence. Excuse me, sir, but if you are taking medications, have you checked the dosages?

[2] Ultimate Frisbee is "a combination of basketball and American football. The game is played on a regulation-size football field, with two end zones. Each team can have seven players. Players can't run with the disc in hand; they can only pivot or pass as they work the Frisbee down the field to the opposing team's end zone . A play doesn't stop until the Frisbee is intercepted or hits the ground, or until a point is scored. The game plays until one team reaches 15 points." Quote from a Ph.D in biochemistry in an on-line Wall Street Journal article dated September 28, 2009.

[3] November 1, 2007 F-Minus comic strip;

Before returning to the main thrust of your rebuttal, allow me to correct your misunderstanding: the implication of levity to which I referred was based one the placement of your work on the comic pages of the newspaper in which I read your strip. Comedy, comic and similar words have a similar Latin root, in various forms. According to Merriam Webster on line, the Latin derivation of "comic" is comicus. Thus, it is the identification of your work as "comic" that implies it will include levity, certainly not the substance of your work, which to me is devoid of humor, no matter how many times I try to reconcile its message with its placement on the "comics" page.
I will assume that these two paragraphs you have written are the second and third installments of humor in your response, following up your breakfast-interruptus mention:

"Of course, only personal responsibility...(see above)...stronger than any Frisbee."

If not, I am afraid that we are approaching the outer fringes of the reality I know and I must turn back, allowing you as the intrepid comic to continue the journey without me.

Alternatively, I am willing and would appreciate continuing this discussion further in order to gain a full (or at least incomplete, partial) understanding of the connection between your creation of "Extreme Frisbee," a derivative "sport" where armed team members "often" use competing bullets to destroy the equipment necessary for play and a team Frisbee toss game. I still don't get it, Tony.

(Name Omitted)

Good day, (Name Omitted).

Thank you for your swift and extensively researched response. I am, however, saddened by the content. I had hoped our union may lead to greater things (A nationwide ban on all Frisbee-based sport? Dare I dream it?). It seems you do not take this issue as seriously as I do. And do I detect a hint of mockery in your reply? For the sake of civility, I will ignore it, lest this discussion devolve into a volley of insults and "poop-speak".

A note of thanks for including a copy of my comic in your response. I have never actually seen my own comic before, as the artwork is produced by a company in Korea. I find myself displeased with the style, and will see to it those responsible receive an appropriate punishment. But I digress.

"I don't get it" you say. Too often those undecided on the Frisbee issue hide behind this statement. What's not to get? The fact that if you reduce the Frisbees in circulation, then they will be less likely to find their way into the hands of our nation's youngsters-- and therefore less likely to end up in the situation my comic depicts? Or that if it weren't for the Frisbee, David Thurston, a misguided young man in the prime of his life might still be with us? I am confused by your confusion.

Nevertheless, this remains our America. I can not, and would not force you share my views. I can only bring your attention to this issue, and let your conscience be your guide. But ask yourself this; On New Year's eve, when some irresponsible person carelessly tosses a Frisbee into the air in celebration, will it be you that stands beneath it?

It's time to get it. Frisbees hurt.

Good day,

-Tony Carrillo

Good evening, Tony. I now understand that you (perhaps uniquely) envision yourself to be quite the comedian. I also understand that no matter how complete or compelling my responses might be to those with open minds, because you lack one (not a mind, just an open one), you will reply with your unusual brand of humor, as you have done twice already, and simply continue to cover your eyes and declare that if you can't see us, we must not be able to see you. As a parent, I can assure you that none of our children (or any of our many friends' children) was fooled by that game after birthday #1. It makes me wonder whether some of the youngest ones might be in a position to bring you up to speed on that issue. If so, let me know and I'll send course materials to you. (Don't worry, they are very simple.) Your decision to ignore the fact that I take this seriously is unfortunate, but apparently irremediable. Perhaps your syndicator will agree with you; perhaps with me; perhaps with neither. I suspect the fine folks who make Frisbees, a staple of uninjured people everywhere, likely have their opinions, as well. Either way, I can't imagine that many more of your cartoons (self-graded appropriately - I give you credit for that) will burden our pages before replaced by something more interesting, such as additional room for existing comics. What's really too bad is that I do get it and you don't (more likely won't, because an absence of sufficiently engaged gray matter does not appear to be a limitation for you). Smarts, however does not supplant a social conscience gone missing without a trace. To you, an accidental death over a cliff and the violent destruction of toys with weapons are (at least for now), a paycheck, even if one necessarily split with your overseers in Korea. To others (that would include me), they are an outrage. As you point out, the free expression of ideas is important, as is the choice of every reader to ignore insulting fiction. Children do and will play with Frisbees, which is a good thing. If only children never played with guns. Your suggestion that team Frisbee "often" leads to the marriage of the two (Frisbees and guns) is a nightmare every parent (other than you, if you are one; oh, my) fears. Thanks (in the most cynical and disapproving voice that e-mail permits) for giving ideas to young people with insufficiently developed cognitive abilities to separate the imaginary from the actuated imagined. I hope never to hear of a Frisbee related shooting death: until October 20, 2009, when you introduced the idea in your syndicated comic strip, I doubt that anyone but you ever even considered the possibility. In conclusion, Tony, thank you again for your non-replies and your utter lack of interest in serious adult discourse. Cheers.

(Name Omitted)

... and my final rebuttal:

It's that time again!

2009-10-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

Tea-Time! Back in August I told you that someone actually got my Tea-Time Clown tattoo. Apparently, it's taking Vancouver by storm, because the clown has struck again! This time in the form of a Clown Teapot.This is a legitimate trend now. Tea-Time Clown is going to become an industry standard like the anchor or the mom-heart or the butterfly. It's only a matter of time until I see that clown peeking out of the back of some college girl's jeans.

Big thanks to tattooer Cohen Floch. Check out his work at www.cohenfloch.com

Attention El Paso!

2009-10-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Calling all El Pasoans. El Pasos... Pasoites? The El Paso Times is now running a survey to choose their next comic. And guess who is in the running? Go VOTE!

As a side note, I ate some of the best Mexican food I've ever had in El Paso, at a place called Kiki’s.

Comment of the day

2009-09-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

I spotted this story posted on the NPR Facebook page:Pretty cool story. Then I noticed this comment:
Ahmed is right. Are we going to start making monkey glasses next? What if a monkey is swinging through the trees and his glasses fall off mid-swing? Do you want the fate of that monkey on your conscience, scientists? Why don't we just stop trying to cure monkey vision issues altogether? We have enough of our own problems to worry about.

Helpful Hate Mail

2009-09-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Two experts and I discuss some very special hate mail. Warning: may not be suitable for anyone.

Comics.com?

2009-09-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

Nope, I don't know why comics.com has been down. I didn't realize it at first because I get a newspaper. It reminded me of this Doozies comic that came out a few days ago:
See kids? This is why it's always good to have the stairs, just in case.

Living Dangerously

2009-09-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't blogged for a while, but I promise I'll get back on the trolley. In the meantime:

Tom takes a stand

2009-08-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

Another important lesson from cartoonist Tom Gammill.

Children? Not a fan.

2009-08-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

With all the angry emails I get about just about every topic, you'd think a comic showing children in danger would generate an angry response. However, comics like the one above have always received the opposite reaction. This just reinforces my theory; People don't like children!
There have been a few exceptions. For instance, the mower incident from back in June. But I feel like he was more unhappy about the improper use of a lawn mower than the safety of the children.
The only other occasion I can think of was in response to this comic from way back in 2006:
This was the letter I got:

"I feel compelled to comment on today's (Sunday, November 5, 2006) strip. Normally I enjoy the humor, but today's was in poor taste. Anything having to do with children playing with, or being put in plastic bags - or laminated in plastic - should not be joked about.
That said, keep up the good work with a great, witty comic strip."

I don't know how to feel about complimentary hate mail... it gives me confused feelings.
Nevertheless, I can't completely ban a topic from my cartoon because of angry emails. If I did there would be nothing to cartoon about. People can get upset about anything.

Hey... are those the same kids in both comics? Weird.

Since you asked...

2009-08-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

The Denver Post just posted a survey. They want to know what their readers think of their current comic lineup. F Minus is in their current lineup.

Of course, only Denver Post readers should vote...

Here is the survey, if you're curious.

Hot mug of Pearls

2009-08-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

If you look closely at today's Pearls Before Swine comic, you'll notice a shout out to F Minus from my friend Stephan Pastis. I got to meet Stephan at the Reuben awards (the Oscars of cartooning) in Orlando. I think we ended up hanging out with each other because we are both under 100 years old. (Haha, just a little joke, other cartoonists.)
We are pictured here with our book editor, Erin. Behind us in the crowd you can spot the sprightly Mort Walker (Beetle Bailey) and Bill Keane (Family Circus). This was right before Stephan and I challenged them to a vigorous game of beach volleyball.
You might have noticed some of Stephan's characters in one of my comics from a while back:Stephan has a blog too.

Tea-Time Clown Tattoo

2009-08-04T01:48:00.000-07:00

This might be the greatest thing I have ever seen.
In March of 2008 I published a comic featuring a guy named Mikey (based on my tattooed brother) regretting his tattoo choice: Tea-Time Clown.
Today I received a message from the owner of a tattoo shop in Vancouver, Canada. He told me that the cartoon was popular with his customers, and also with his tattoo artist friend.
In fact, he liked it so much, he created a tattoo flash with some alternate Tea-Time Clown tattoo designs.
His designs include a Tea-Time Clown in a race car, a Tea-Time Clown as royalty, a sad Tea-Time Clown with a broken teacup, and of course a standard Tea-Time Clown, as seen in my comic.

This was enough to make my day, but then it got better... I present to you, an actual Tea-Time Clown Tattoo!
The owner of this awesome Tea-Time Clown tattoo now has the perfect answer when someone asks the question "Have you ever done anything you really regret?"

I couldn't be more proud.

Tattoo by:
Cohen Floch -Tattoo Union, Vancouver B.C.

Tony Cooks an Egg

2009-08-01T00:45:00.000-07:00

The Face of Hate

2009-07-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

I've been getting an unusual amount of hate mail lately. I consider that a good sign for the most part, but I still have to wonder, who are these people? What do they look like? Who has the time to seek out the email address of a cartoonist, just to harangue him? One person in particular has sent me a few emails expressing how much he despises F Minus.

"You aren't funny...at all."
"All of the other comic strips are hilarious, then yours just wrecks it. Completely."
"I feel like closing the paper after reading your pathetic excuse of a comic."
"YOU MAKE ME WANT TO STOP READING THE COMICS ALTOGETHER"

His extraordinary anger over my little comic strip intrigued me. I decided to to a quick search for his email address and I discovered his Facebook profile.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... The Face of Hate. Through his profile I learned that he has managed to wrangle himself seventeen online "friends" despite his abrasive disposition.
But I shouldn't be too hard on him. He clearly leads a difficult life, apparently in the frozen tundra, where he was forced to kill a large rodent and fashion the pelt into a crude hat for warmth.
I don't think I will continue to seek out these hate-mail writers after this experience. My dreams are already haunted by those vacant eyes and pointed snout. I've learned my lesson.

UPDATE: It turns out one of the "17 friends" is the cousin of a friend of mine, and had this to say about the hater:

"I barely know the kid. He was in my speech class and hung around the emo/goth/kids-who-wear-black group. All of his speeches were on random, less-important wars or something... like Franco-Prussian or ones that you don't normally hear about. He was also very nervous up there. I read the blog... am I really only one of his 17 friends?"

Sounds like he's down to sixteen, I'm afraid.

Nudity!

2009-07-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of requests for a T-Shirt with the slogan from this comic, and I wanted to let you all know that I'm in the process of making one available now. I'm also going to try to overhaul the outdated F Minus store. More on this as events unfold.

Let me know if there are any other F Minus comics you think would make a good shirt.

1500!!!...or so.

2009-07-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Comic counting is not an exact science, but today's comic might be the 1500th published F Minus comic. However, if you include comics from the college years and comics that weren't published nationally it's closer to 1800... whatever. My birthday isn't for five more months, so let's celebrate.

Thanks to Theo for the heads up.

Book signing photos

2009-06-20T21:58:00.001-07:00

Here are some photos from the book signing last night. Thanks to Barnes and Noble and to everyone that showed up!

Reminder

2009-06-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Hey all, just a reminder to come see me tonight at the Barnes and Noble at Tempe marketplace for the book signing. They will also have some copies of the first book available. If you get a book for your dad for Father's day, I will draw a portrait of him in it based on your description alone. Don't worry, I'm trained in composite police sketch art.

Just to let you know, I am on Twitter, at twitter.com/tonycarrillo
Somebody is posting links to the daily F Minus comics at twitter.com/fminus, but it's not me. I don't mind unless my lawyer says I should.

See you soon.

In 1492 Columbus sailed the... uh, in 1417...

2009-06-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

To clear up some confusion, yes, that is the ocean behind the vikings. The F Minus world seems to have some ocean/land issues. Kooky!
Here's a corrected version:
And yes, that is a painting in today's (Jun 11) comic. A black and white one, apparently. Kooky!

Hate Mail! Oh mow you didn't...

2009-06-10T14:50:00.000-07:00

The following hate mail and my response refers to this comic:
"Your strip for June 2nd:
Showing a father pushing a kid around on a power mower, and making a big joke out of it, is completely uncalled for. If you are a father, do you do that with your own children? I've never seen it done with a push mower, but I do see it once in a while on a riding mower. Do you realize exactly how stupid that is? If the kid falls off and loses a hand or foot will you make a comic strip out of that?"

* * *

"Dear (***),
Thanks for sharing your great comic idea! It's very funny. However, I don't use outside ideas in my comic strip. Many syndicated cartoonists buy comic ideas, so you might want to keep shopping it around.
To answer your question, no, I don't have any children. But if I ever do, I will definitely take your suggestion and let them ride the mower. That sounds super fun!
Good luck with your comic writing career!"
-Tony Carrillo

Edit- He wrote back!

"you are an idiot"

Checkmate, sir. Check-mate.

Barnes and Noble

2009-06-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

Did you miss the last book signing? You know who you are.
You're in luck! I will be at the Barnes and Noble at Tempe Marketplace on Friday, June 19th at 6:30 to sign your book and flip through some magazines. Get yourself the new F Minus book, and pick one up for a friend. Just in time for the holiday season!
Also, for the low price of one dollar, I will judge any book by the cover.

Freddy Freaker

2009-06-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

Can someone please explain this to me?

I knew it should have been a burrito...

2009-05-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

I really thought the hands-free burger device was golden, but it's only getting three and a half stars. I have a love-hate relationship with this rating system. I think I'm going to try to ignore it for a few weeks. If I don't, I fear it will soon drive me mad. Mad I tell you!

Fight or Flight of the Conchords

2009-05-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

I saw Flight of the Conchords in concert last week (Thanks again Cam!) and they were great. Very funny. It rekindled my interest in trying stand-up comedy.
However, when I waited at the not-so-secret-anymore exit where the performers come out afterward (yes, I enjoy meeting famous people), they ditched me and some other nerdy fans and went out another exit. What's the deal, FotC? Too good for your fans? I met Elvis Costello with my brother at that same exit. He was a cool guy. Linz and I met Fiona Apple there too. Despite her angst, she was very nice.
Just a little Wednesday complainin'!

Conspiracy Mail!

2009-05-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

My friends, you all know that I post the strange mail I receive here for you to enjoy. Hate mail, crazy mail... mail about how I can't draw frogs. But today I got an email that is crazy, threatening... just plain bizarre. It may require a new category; conspiracy mail! Here it is, copy/pasted word for word (including an image of what I imagine he looks like). I promise this is a real email I got just this morning:

General response to your daily cartoons

It is quite clear that you are taking a dangerous and painful situation that is orchestrated by a domestic extremist group and making a

mockery of the painful ordeal. You are making a joke of an ordeal that is creating extreme distress on the part of one victim. The cartoons are full of symbolism that is connected to a one time group that has had the status of a covert SAP program that is now being investigated by the FBI. Many of the people in the domestic network have been arrested; arrests are ongoing. It appears that you have "inside" information of this domestic network and that you are a supporter or participant of this group that has used intimidation, violent coercion, and the use of remote weapons to torture innocent individuals for more than two years.

I must inform you that you will be the subject of a major lawsuit when this ordeal ends and is made public. The cartoons have been collected for the past two years to be used in a legal pursuit against you and the syndication that supports your cartoons. The courts will determine if freedom of speech includes the right to use such symbolism to ridicule, to humiliate, and to create profound distress.

So... crazy, right? More crazy than the normal brand of crazy I'm used to. Of course, it wasn't signed, but I searched for his email online and found out he's a sales representative for a company that makes office chairs. You know what that means... he's a spy!

So I guess that's it for me, guys. They're finally going to put me away for illegal... extreme... uh, violent... cartooning.

By the way, if you zoom in on the page the monkey is reading in today's comic, it says: How to Overthrow the Government on Five Dollars a Day by Tony Carrillo

Nagamaki Time!

2009-05-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago my awesome cousin Brett got me this sweet Nagamaki sword. The action shot above captured the moment before I split that grapefruit cleanly in half. I think you know what this means... It's time for a follow-up to my popular video Sledge Time!
Any suggestions for what needs to be Nagamaki'd?

Widget!

2009-05-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

Good news! Comics.com has introduced a widget that allows you to post F Minus on your blog, networking sites, iGoogle, etc. Just select the size widget you want, choose a comic... ;D ... and post it wherever you need it! I posted a small one on the right-->

Ready, set... sweep!

2009-05-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

Does anyone remember a little show called Battlebots? Simply put, it was a tournament of homemade lawnmower-sized remote controlled robots battling to the death, coupled with witty commentary and scientific information provided by Bill Nye the science guy. Yes, it was the greatest show ever, and I have no idea why it was cancelled.
In any case, it just fed my love for robots and robot-based competition.
That's why when I recently received a Roomba, I felt the need to test his floor cleaning skills against my other robot, Robosapien, in a no-holds-barred floor-cleaning competition to the death. In the end, Roomba swept circles around Robosapien in no time. While Roomba quickly and effectively cleaned the floor with a cheery disposition, Robosapien just pushed the dirt back and forth pathetically. Granted, floor cleaning is Roomba's primary function, so it wasn't really a surprise. However, I must give Robosapien a few extra points, because it's somehow more satisfying to watch a little human-shaped robot doing your chores than an oversized hockey puck. I guess what the world is waiting for is a bot with the effectiveness of a Roomba combined with the the comical cuteness of a Robosapien. Back to the drawing board, scientists!
Robosapien still dances much better than Roomba.

Obviously this blue part here is the land.

2009-05-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

Anyone else notice this on May 13?
Hi Tony,
You should probably have a word with whoever colors your week-day strips. If you're going to go through the trouble of drawing a smidgen Iceland, they could probably do their best to stick to the generally accepted standard of blue water and green land. -Jonathan

Winner!

2009-05-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

We received many entries to the F Minus Day contest, and randomly selected a winner from those who answered all the questions correctly. I'm proud to announce the winner is....
John in Florida!
John will receive an F Minus hat, the new F Minus book, and a drawing of the winner in F Minus style!
John also gave the most accurate and elaborate answers. Here's his answer to question number three:
Which comic featured the first appearance of ROBOBOT?: Wow what a loaded question. Well the first mention of ROBOBOT was on May 25 2008 where the Robobot movie was out and two kids walking out were complaining about the singing. Who knew it was a musical? Interestingly that robot looks eerily familiar to the canopener bot in September 27 2006 comic which later dances the Charleston on Sep 12 2007. It was not quite Robobot (this one had a round head while ROBOBOT's is clearly flat and it is also missing the square panel on his chest). But you can't deny that ROBOBOT (flat top and square chest and all) is destroying the neighborhood as wished by Tommy on Sep 30 2007. So that is the first appearance of the same looking robot, he just didn't have a name yet. I'm a big fan your robots.
Wow... I didn't even know all that. Good job, John!

Back to work

2009-05-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I've not blogged in a while because I was a little distracted... getting married! My beautiful bride Lindsay (she gets all of them) and I tied the knot on May 8th. You may have seen the related comic that day. Can you guess how many times I got asked "Did you remember to fill the gas tank?" at the reception?

Hate Mail! Trees 101

2009-04-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Y'all saw this right? Got a pretty good rating today. People seem to enjoy it. But wait... not everyone. Not... ARBORISTS!!!
The newest addition to the long list of people I've unintentionally offended, the Arborists (The term "Tree Nerd" is no longer PC) are a scruffy bunch, and don't like when inaccurate depictions of tree growth gets in the way of their cartoon enjoyment. I got a handful of emails today, but the following was the best. It begins with the same clever line that can be found in all F Minus hate mail:

I can see why you got an F Minus.
Your science is 90 degrees off base and is therefore a poor example for folks – especially children. A tree grows both horizontally and vertically. The top leader and branches grow “up” but the existing stems or trunk grows horizontally out away from it’s center therefore the hook would eventually get engulfed by the bark/tree and to the extreme the two trees would grow together. Your cartoon drawn correctly would have Rip Van Winkle being squeezed together at the same height and not raised vertically; simple high school botany. Were you sleeping in your hammock the day that was taught?
(Name omitted), President
Landscape Architecture · Site Planning · Land Planning

Once again I am called a poor example for children. I have a question, did anyone actually take botany in high school? Really? Botany class?
Here is my response:

Dear (Tree Nerd)
Finally! A chance to use your knowledge of plant growth outside of your landscaping job! I suppose you emailed Wile E. Coyote to tell him why his rocket skates wouldn't work too? Or maybe you should tell Charlie Brown that his dog should not be able to fly a plane.
You didn't say anything a few days ago when I did a comic about bees shooting stingers out of their butts at children. THAT's not scientifically accurate. But now of course people will be more afraid of bees because of my poor example. I guess I should have paid more attention in bee school.
Or maybe it's just a cartoon. -Tony C.

Here's the deal, folks. Maybe he's right about tree growth. It's irrelevant. I would have done the cartoon anyway, because it's just a cartoon. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jump off a cliff, and float safely down to the ground by holding an umbrella.

Oh, and I sent him this:

Mummy bucket?

2009-04-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

I've been frequenting Goodwill and other thrift stores for things to sledge, shoot into space, or just blow up, and I spotted this amazing item on the random junk shelves. I had to take a picture of it. As far as I can tell, it's a bucket painted to look like a mummy on springy legs with feathery hair. It's possibly the strangest item I've come across so far. I didn't buy it though. I didn't think I'd be able to destroy it, and yet I didn't want it in my house.
Still time to enter the contest.

F Minus Day

2009-04-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

Happy F Minus Day! Today is the third anniversary of the national debut of F Minus. There are no set traditions for F Minus Day, but there is one special benefit: You can blame anything on the holiday. Slept in late? F Minus Day! Forgot to pay for some items at the grocery? Oh well, it's F Minus Day! Broke parole by leaving the country? F Minus Day! Fell off the wagon? etc.
In honor of the special day I'm having a contest. The winner of the contest will receive an F Minus hat, the new F Minus book, and a drawing of the winner in F Minus style! To enter, simply answer these trivia questions:
1. What animal appeared in the F Minus national debut comic?
2. Who wrote the introduction for the new book?
3. Which comic featured the first appearance of ROBOBOT?
4. How much do "as is" pets cost?

Email your answers to tony@fminus.net -I will be accepting entries for the next few days. One entry with the correct answers will be chosen at random as the winner.

Have a great F Minus Day! Follow me on Twitter! tonycarrillo

Twit this

2009-04-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

Okay America, you asked for it. I now have a Twitter account. I'm going to give it a try for a while and see how I like it. http://twitter.com/tonycarrillo

Of course!

2009-04-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

At the suggestion of commenter Antonio (see his creation above) I am going to launch the yellow ranger into the air on a rocket. It seems so obvious now, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I'll be sure to share the results. Stay tuned.

A mighty mystery.

2009-04-13T13:42:00.001-07:00

Last night I found this Mighty Morphin Power Rangers action figure in my bedroom. I have never seen it before, and I have no idea how it got there. This isn't the kind of thing that just sticks to your shoe. How did it get there? Is it a clue? A warning? What is my next move?

Rockets!!!

2009-04-04T00:25:00.000-07:00

Watch the video of the rocket day that inspired the comic above:

Turtle Store

2009-04-01T21:29:00.000-07:00

One morning, a few years ago, I woke up and noticed a scribble on my sketchbook. I always keep a sketchbook by my bed in case I come up with an idea during the night. I vaguely remembered waking up and trying to write down a thought in the dark, while giggling. In the light of dawn, the barely legible scribble read:
TURTLE STORE-- ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HOSE OFF FOR YOU?
I had no idea what it meant. I spent months trying to remember what it meant. I drew the concept a few different ways trying to understand it. Finally, I decided that it had no meaning. It was just late night nonsense. But for some reason, I liked it.
Time went by and I never had the guts to use an idea that I knew had no meaning. There are some who would argue I have done this many times before, but the truth is, every comic I have ever done has made a least some sense to me. Yet the turtle store kept popping up in the back of my mind.
Then I remembered that April Fool's day was coming up. The perfect excuse! I could draw a comic that makes no sense, and if people get upset, I just yell "April Fools!" and everything would be okay. So that's what I did.
And then I waited...
-"I am very sorry to bother you, but I can't make sense of today's turtle/hose comic and it's ruining my day. Any explanation you could offer would be greatly appreciated."
-"I just don't get it."
-"Your cartoon today is the first one that a number of us don’t get. It’s the one about the guy entering a turtle store with a hose and asking, “Anything else I can hose off for you?” Can you give us a clue to the humor in this one?"
-"Maybe I'd understand if I had a turtle."
-"This was the first comic in over a year I didn't and still don't understand. Help!"
-"You've stumped me and my coworkers. is this some kind of April Fools Day comic?"
-"WTF was that?"
So... April Fools! Thanks for letting me get that comic off my chest. I apologize for any day I might have ruined.

Big day

2009-03-28T11:33:00.001-07:00

Here's the big news... I'm an uncle! Baby Penelope was born this morning, and she already laughs at my jokes:I've never seen a baby be this cute on day one. Usually there is a little newborn weirdness... not with Baby P!

Don't forget about the book signing this afternoon at four. See you there!

ASU

2009-03-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone that came by the State Press booth today at Arizona State! If you missed it, they have more copies in the ASU bookstore, or come visit me at Changing Hands this Saturday at four p.m.

NPR

2009-03-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

The NPR story about F Minus is now available.
Click here to listen.

Go Devils!

2009-03-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

On March 26th, I'll be on Hayden Lawn at Arizona State University with The State Press, the independent daily paper where F Minus was born. I'll be there signing the new F Minus book, or class overrides.
It was fun working at the student newspaper on campus, because it was a hub of information. Every hour someone would hang up the phone and say "There's free pizza on Hayden Lawn!" or "There's a fight in front of the MU!" or "That naked guy is back!" One semester I painted a mural in the fire escape of the basement newsroom. I probably wasn't taking very many credit hours... Here's what it looked like before I painted it: I decided to paint a cityscape so the reporters would feel like they had a view from a tall building instead of a poorly ventilated basement. Okay, it's not a masterpiece, but keep in mind I was kneeling in this for several hours:I've heard the State Press newsroom is moving to the downtown Phoenix campus, so I don't know what will happen to the mural. Maybe I'll break in and re-paint it to look like a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Book Signing 2

2009-03-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

I will be at Changing Hands Bookstore on March 28th at 4 p.m. to sign your copy of the new F Minus book: This Can't Be Legal. I'll be at a table hidden away in a dark corner, somewhere between the Self-Help and the Erotica section.

Listen up...

2009-03-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

If you are in one of the lucky areas that receive the NPR show Day to Day, tune in tomorrow to hear my dulcet tones. I was interviewed by Rene Gutel about the new book, drawing frogs, and my severe political views (Although she said she might have to edit that last part out for time). If you miss it, you can listen online later. I'll post the link.

Oh I get it... they're ants.

2009-03-09T00:17:00.000-07:00

The ant comic is being discussed over at Comics I Don't Understand. Anyone else not get this one?

Sledge Time!

2009-03-06T09:51:00.000-08:00

I mentioned on my Facebook page that I've been doing a lot of sledgehammering lately, and my friends seemed to enjoy that idea. So I made a run to my local thrift store and put together this video of sledge action. Have four minutes to waste? Come on, you know you'll be wasting a lot more than that today.

Isn't it weird that those people gave a framed photograph of themselves to a thrift store? Still, I'm glad they did.

I'm no scientician.

2009-03-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

Several agitated nerds emailed me today to inform me that today's comic should have been about paleontologists rather than archaeologists. While I admit my mistake, I informed them that emailing cartoonists to tell them things like that is exactly why they don't have girlfriends.

I should just let it go, because I think seventy percent of F Minus readers are nerds.
And they did say they liked the comic anyway.

Butt what?

2009-03-03T15:22:00.000-08:00

There was a little alteration in the caption of today's comic, and I thought you might be interested. Here's what you all read today:
Here is my original, before being wisely adjusted by my editors:
Even my version is pretty tame, but they gently reminded me that newspapers would frown on what was being suggested. Although I didn't want to seem too anal, we decided to rear back, and leave it a little more open ended, and let the readers fill it in themselves, so I don't end up looking like an ass.
......uh... booty!

In my original drawing, all three of them were all naked as well.